So many times, we see a neighbour, a teacher or it might be you, beating up that child like no man’s business. Physical beatings of children as a way to “train or discipline” children has been rooted in many ancient cultures around the world. Thank God it is widely not acceptable anymore. As a child, I remember my fathers excuse for physical beating was to discipline us. I hold no grudge because I know he knew not better and he too was reflecting his own upbringing. Unfortunately today still, many families are stuck in the circle of violence. For some societies, communities, elders or parents, child beating is the norm. But the good news is that our traditions progress, our cultures evolve and we humans learn, at least we have the opportunity to learn.
This is a simple truth about child abuse
Child beating is child abuse, no excuse. There are many other forms of child abuse – maltreatment, psychological maltreatment, neglect, severe punishment, food deprivation and starvation, consistent shaming, emotional blackmail, sexual abuse, witnessing domestic abuse and many more. Beating up your child or a much younger person you are supposed to be guardian to (in some cases where house boys or girls unfortunately exist as it is child labour) is voilence. Fullstop! It can go a long way to cause harm and damage to the child. It also causes so much damage to you, the beater! It causes harm and damages the community of beaters and the beaten.
A child’s well being affects their adulthood
Remember that that child is supposed to be the future generation. That child would create the ecosystem you as an older person will have to live in. That child will be responsible for a younger person. What wealth of virtue can a child learn from a parent that consistently beats? Apart from physical implication of physical violence of children such as bruises, cuts, broken bones, health problems or even death, there are many negative behavioral effects manifested. Effects like self-harm, eating disorders, alcohol and drug use, insomnia, discomfort with physical contact, academic failure e.t.c. These hazards caused at a very young age deprives the child of opportunities in the future. Most adults who were not able to work through the trauma of childabuse or even who do not realise the implications or hold it has on them, often find that these characters they now possess hinder their progress.
Coping mechanism manifest in all sort of ways
Children who suffer any form of abuse feel the pain on the inside. If they grow up in a culture where it is rather the norm than the exception, they are forced to hide the pain. As a result, many of them suffer low self-esteem, feelings of guilt and often blame themselves. Many suffer trust issues, feel emptiness and loneliness. Some feel hopelessness, hate, despair, fear, anxiety, depression, difficulty in handling relationships, experience flashbacks, are hypervigilant, have feelings of misery, and rage, and sometimes talk about feeling suicidal.
Child abuse is of course not the only cause of these kind of circumstances but it sure does contribute a great deal to magnifying them, if not in many cases the root cause. These are issues many people who want to be entrepreneurs have to deal with. When you have this kind of baggage to carry, it becomes even much more of a struggle to be authentic and follow your path as an entrepreneur.
Become aware, acknowledgement is the first step.
It might be challenging for adults who do not know otherwise, who grew up also being abused to behave differently. But many take the chance to break the circle of abuse in their family by choosing to become aware of it. That is the first step. You can begin a self check journey. Raising or catering for a child is a challenging task especially as parent-preneurs, but it is also very rewarding. Find out if you as an adult need help to deal with your anger and other issues manifesting in abuse.
Simple daily practices to calm you down
Try simple daily anti-anxiety practices like meditation, breathing, gratitude or emotion-checks to bring you into the present moment. We will explore these practices in the future. The more present you are the easier it is to self check. If you have experienced abuse in the past or as a child, seek support to deal with it. Then take responsibility for the way any “crazy” action the child does makes you feel. It is about how it makes you feel, because acting upon that feeling in a more aware manner will curtail any violent reaction from you. If you still cannot help yourself, seek help. If you have a partner or witness this, seek help for the partner even if they do not approve. Many communitie have elders, extended family, spiritual mentors, charities, therapies, or even law enforcement to intervene.
Self esteem start early
I have personally watched too many young entrepreneurs suffer from self esteem and struggle to express their inner self. After so many conversations, it almost always ends in some form of childhood experience. What someone said or did. I know that feeling. We have to become aware of it to deal with it. It is a process you can start now and a journey that is unending – developing your personal self as an entrepreneur.
This was an emotional blog on child abuse but it is so important. Stay with us as we release more topics on how to build your character and free yourself from limitations. Subscribe not to miss out and hey, we are launching our mobile app soon to build a tribe of social entrepreneurs beyond borders. Want to be in our network, pre-register now. Thank you for reading to the end and share with anyone who you believe will need the information.